Monthly Archives

October 2017

Inspiration and Motivation

We are Family?!

October 30, 2017

Everyone desires to be a part of a family….

Hmmm.. ok… let me rephrase that. 

Most people in society want to belong to or be a part of a family.

That’s a better statement. 

Being a part of a family is one of the beneficial and positive attributes of living. Having that sense of belonging fulfilled is an amazing success. Most people who live feeling angry…bitter…and resentful can attribute some of that emotion to not having a family.

Growing up, I loved watching Full House and Family Matters. These two shows embodied what it meant to have a family… at least to me. LOL. You had real people with real issues that stuck together. They were there to support each other, uplift each other, cry with each other, and keep it real with each other.

These shows portrayed the funny moments that happened within families, as well as the difficult and challenging ones.  

I felt that I subconsciously gravitated towards these shows, because I longed for a family of my own.  I didn’t grow up in a home with both parents.  Additionally, I didn’t grow up in the most positive atmosphere/environment.  I experienced some terrible things from individuals who held the title of “family”. 

I didn’t grow up where things were kept “real”. Things were never really explained to me. I never had heart to heart talks with my parents. I was never “schooled” on matters that were pertinent for me as a child and it didn’t change as I transitioned into womanhood.  I never forget when I was in the 6th grade, I was in the bathroom with a bunch of girls who were talking about the period ending. Here I come saying that I didn’t hear the bell ring and that the period wasn’t over. The girls busted out laughing so hard that I actually began to cry. I went home that night and told my mom what happened. A week later she gave me a book about periods. 

I didn’t grow up in a family where I felt comfortable enough to share my feelings 100%. If I liked a boy I kept it to myself. Actually, I remember being in the 5th grade, sharing with my teacher through our daily journal writings that I liked a boy in my class!!!! If I was feeling sad and emotional I did not express my feelings to anyone, because I didn’t have anyone who cared enough to listen. 

Growing up, I never understood what it meant to spend quality time with your family. Hanging out, playing family board games, watching family movies, going out to eat as a family never existed in my home. If I ever did these things with my family, it was far and few in between that I don’t actually remember. I do remember doing these type of activities with church members whose hearts were so big. They would take me and my sister out to have fun. To be quite frank, most of my familial experiences came from church brothers and sisters who cared about my sister and me. 

As I grew, I began to realize that family was not limited to just your mother, father, sister(s) or brother(s). My understanding of family began to broaden and I developed a deeper understanding of what family meant. 

I’ve learned that family really is a group of individuals who love you, care about you, and will do whatever they have to do to help you in this life; ultimately to help you become a better person. It is a sad reality that some individuals who are our biological family don’t fit the description of what it means to be family.

From a personal standpoint, I know that my mom only did what she knew. She was raised in a home where there were eight children. Her mother and father were not wealthy. It breaks my heart to say that they were actually very poor. Their meals were fetched from someone else’s garbage. They struggled a great deal back in the island of Jamaica. When my mom started to raise up a family, she did what she experienced growing up— and more often than not people raise their families the way that they were raised.

This is a debilitating trap if your familial experience was not pleasant.  Thank God that I learned from my childhood family experience of what not to do when I decided to have a family of my own.

Truth is, I work twice as hard to ensure that I don’t fall into the trap of my past. I work twice as hard to make sure that I talk to my children, and that I take them out to different activities. I work twice as hard to listen to them when they speak to me, in order to ensure that I establish an open communication system with them. This will provide a platform where they (hopefully) always feel free to tell me everything they choose to without the fear of being judged. I cannot say that I am perfect, because I still struggle with the ‘lack of’ that I experienced with family growing up. There is so much room for my personal growth and I am looking to improve myself every day.

I also believe that because I experienced a great lack of things in my childhood in regards to family, I subconsciously look toward other people for acceptance and love. I’ve learned through my life’s quest that not everyone that you meet will ever equate to family status, even those deemed biologically as your family.

Let me share with you what family is not.

If someone only cares about you because of what you can do for them, or what they can get from you—they are not your family.

If someone constantly seeks to tear you down, belittle you and misrepresent you, then they are not your family.

If you ever feel like your relationship with your family is one-sided, meaning you are the one that always initiates conversation, you are the one who always tries to support family events, then maybe they are not your family.  I say maybe because sometimes our family truthfully cannot be present for various reasons beyond their control, and they do fit the example of what family is. This type of situation requires discernment on one’s part, so that you can know the hearts of the people that surround you.

If your “family” does not seek to encourage you, uplift you, love you unconditionally, represent you appropriately, and show forth their love and loyalty—it is wise to reconsider the title of family.

I know for a fact that my mom loves me and has done her best to care take of and raise  my siblings and I. I know that my sister, the other half of SisArias United is a pure example of what it means to love someone. I mean she is family. She will encourage and motivate you, while at the same time let you know the truth about when things are just off in your life. I appreciate that a great deal. She will sacrifice for you, and deny herself for you. That is family.  I have other friends in my life that fit under the family title, but one in particular has shown that she is more than a friend… She is family.

I met her 3 ½ years ago….I would like to consider this a divine appointment. I had just had my 4th child, and he was about 2 weeks old at the time. One day my husband handed me a flyer from a local church that was conducting a small group gathering for stay at home moms. Being that I had just resigned from my job to homeschool my children, I felt that it applied to me. However, I didn’t want to go.  I wouldn’t know anyone! My husband encouraged me to go… and you guessed it…. I went.  

When I got there, I was the only one with a newborn baby, but all the moms were so friendly.  We engaged in small talk to acquaint ourselves, and soon after another young lady walked in with a newborn! Our babies were actually the same exact age…only 3 days apart!

That was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.  Three and a half years later I not only call her
my friend… but she is my sister… she is my family.

This beautiful soul is one that loves with her whole heart.  She is not selfish and is willing in a heartbeat to put what she has to do to the side to help me. She has been a voice of reason, an ear to my complaints, a babysitter, a leader and a blessing to me.  She constantly checks on me and treats my children as if they were her own.  She supports me in my endeavors and her presence is strongly felt in my life.  

Because of my sweet friend, I’ve more fully understood that family doesn’t have to be your flesh and blood.  Your family are those ever present people in your life that only have your best interest at heart. They honestly want to see you succeed.  They are not jealous of you and they do not try to sabotage you. They keep it real, even though the truth may not be the sweetest sound to your ears… they love you in the good, and they love you when there are differences in opinions… they are TRULY your family.

I’m grateful for this understanding of what a family means to me. 

I don’t want to waste another second of my energy on dead-beat parents, and weak familial connections.  Live, Love and be Strong…. ultimately, making sure that you are the best representation of what family is within your circle of influence. 

~Candace Mezetin 

~Love is the answer~

 

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Inspiration and Motivation

One And The Same

October 26, 2017

It often boggles my mind that we as a country or better yet should I say world, continue to focus constantly on our differences. The truth is that we are so much more similar than we are different. This point could have not been made more clear to me this past Tuesday. You see, I teach a Mommy, Music, & Me class every Tuesday morning at the local YMCA. On this particular Tuesday that past another mother and I were discussing our lives in general. We spoke about being a stay-at-home mom, being a wife to a husband who at times works away from home, and as a woman who has lost the bodies that we have always known as a result of bearing our beautiful children. The midsection isn’t as thin and trim as it once was…LOL.

Nonetheless, in that moment as we confided in each other we spoke about our high points and our low points—as it pertained to ourselves and our responsibility to our families. It was quite evident that we were so much more similar than I thought. The reason I say this is because this particular mom that I was talking to is from a totally different nationality and culture than I am. She is of Puerto Rican descent and I am of Jamaican descent, she has four children and I have three, her husband owns a few businesses and my husband works as a nurse at a health insurance company. These are just some of the obvious differences between us. However, we had so many more similarities than the naked eye could ever detect. For starters we are wives, mothers, daughters, and women. We are women who are sacrificing our own personal interests and pursuits by staying at home and raising our children to ensure that they become the well-rounded individuals that they should be.

Additionally, we have parents that are both from the islands, and we both share a love for fitness and staying in shape. There was one similarity between us that really stood out to me—and that was how we overcame on a day-to-day basis the many obstacles that tend to make its way into our lives daily. As our conversation progressed, my mom friend opened up to me and told me that sometimes it can get so overwhelming as a mother and a wife that it brings her to tears. In that moment my heart skipped a beat, because there are times when I feel the same way. Yes, I sometimes cry my eyes out as well. The struggle is REAL! In all sincerity there are times that I feel like life keeps dealing me very challenging situations that I don’t always feel like I can bear. However, my mom friend was so encouraging as she basically said that we should always keep a positive outlook on things, because those moments come and go. As a result, we should not dwell on them too long. I agreed with her completely and we both smiled.

She left me more encouraged than she would ever know right there in class on Tuesday. Again, it was our similarities that truly brought us together, and it made our discussion so positive and inviting. I wish that more people in this world would learn to embrace her mindset. Why sit back and focus on things that are completely irrelevant to life as a whole. We are all human beings and I believe that a loving and merciful God created us. The same God who wants us to love each other unconditionally despite our many shortcomings. Yes, we all may look different physically and come from different places around the world, but the most important common denominator is that we are all human. We eat, we sleep, and we all need oxygen for survival. So let us stop, and take a moment to look beyond the surface and delve deep into the faceted layers of humanity. No one ever said that it would be easy, but that should not be the reason why you choose to not love and accept others.

Let us stop trying to cut each other down every chance that we get. Instead, let us uplift each other and celebrate our similarities, in lieu of letting our differences split us apart. This world is in great turmoil. The presence of hate and evil is very rampant, and the time is NOW to extinguish it with unconditional love.

~Contessa Thomas

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Inspiration and Motivation

Inside My Head

October 22, 2017

About 5 weeks ago, I looked up the lyrics to a song that I planned to teach the children in the YMCA Choir. It was a song that I enjoyed a great deal as a child… a song that was way before my time—still yet I connected to it. 

It was a song by Johnny Nash, “I Can See Clearly Now”

Have you ever heard of that song?

If not, take a look at the lyrics below:

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

Sun-Shiny day.

 

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone

All of the bad feelings have disappeared

Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin’ for

It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

Sun-Shiny day.

 

Look all around, there’s nothin’ but blue skies

Look straight ahead, nothin’ but blue skies

 

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

Sun-Shiny day.

When I was growing up… it was stormy. The sun tried to shine through at times, but on a regular basis the clouds were thick. 

I longed to see clearly.

I longed to move away from the dark clouds that had me blind.

I was looking really hard for that sun shiny day…

The majority of my actions and decisions were induced by my desire to see clearly…

It’s funny, because at that time I didn’t even have a true sense of what it meant to see clearly… but anyways, now that I am more mature, I realize that seeing clearly wasn’t  just going to *poof*, magically happen.

Seeing clearly is more than a desire…

It’s a desire, plus a decision that equals an action.

It is a truism that life is full of so many obstacles and challenges!!!

These challenges that “cloud” our lives won’t just vanish.  We actually have to act…and do something in order to achieve that sun shiny day that we long for.

One of my most common struggles that continually ‘cloud’ my mind is letting go of yesterday.

Yesterday was difficult for me. Yesterday made me who I am today, which includes me in my strengths and me in my weaknesses.

Yesterday is ever so present today—and because of that I’m struggling. I want to let go of the past hurts. I really want to forget the pain. I don’t want yesterday to control the choices that I make today…but it does!!!

One of my major battles is being a fatherless child. God knows…I really need(ed) a father figure in my life…a REAL dad who was present. I look at how my girls love their dad… and I “envy” them.  I wish my dad would have placed me on his lap and told me he loved me. I wish my dad would have picked me up and spun me around. I wish my dad could give me advice today on questions that only a dad could answer.  I wish I could call my dad and say, “Hey dad, can you lend me a $100 bucks? ” I wish my dad was there to hold me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I simply just wish that I had my father.

I know that you might be thinking… “Is he dead?”

Well, he is not.

He is alive, but dead towards me.

He has chosen not to fulfill his fatherly duties. He has chosen to neglect one of the most important and highly honorable jobs that a man can be given in this life.

Not having my father around me has placed a gaping hole in my heart!!!

A hole that I’ve filled with all the wrong things in the past…

A hole that is struggling to heal…a wound that I continually place a band aid over.

A hole that affects my life EVERY DAY!!!!

This issue from yesterday is messing me up today!

You may be wondering…”How so?”

Well… you see…this fatherless issue is not one that I wear on my sleeve. I try so hard to keep my ‘issues’ bottled up.  Thank God for Sis Arias United, because now I actually have an outlet, so that I won’t go crazy, and I get the chance to share my struggles and victories with the world.

Being fatherless has left me in a state of feeling empty…lonely… sad…incomplete…confused about what being loved is…vulnerable…gullible…and simply put, A MESS.

I know for a fact, that if it had not been for my faith I would have already broken down.

Despite my feelings, I try so hard to put my best foot forward… to be a beacon of light wherever I go. This can sometimes be a challenge for me but because of God’s grace, He gives me the strength to carry on. However, even with God’s grace from time to time, yesterday shows up knocking at my door.

As I battle through my feelings…

I know that seeing clearly isn’t going to happen just like that.

I have to make some decisions and stick to them. 

I think my first step is to accept myself, and love myself.  I am Me.  I cannot be like anyone else.  I cannot compare myself to anyone else physically, mentally or socially. 

Next, I think that I need to take time to do something for myself that will help to establish feelings of self-worth.  I am worth something!! Just because my Dad begs to differ, I have to know for myself that I am valuable, and that I am loved.  I am so grateful that my personal worth is established in Christ. I know with all my heart, His sacrifice made for people on a whole and for me individually is what has kept me going. 

In order to see clearly, I have to close the door to yesterday—COMPLETELY. Whenever I see yesterday’s pains resurfacing, I have to take immediate action. I cannot let that sorrow consume me.

I also think that I have to make peace with my dad. I thought I did…I thought I forgave him… but maybe I didn’t. 

I know that my sun shiny day will come.

It’s right before my nose. 

Please keep me in your thoughts, and thanks for reading about “What is Inside My Head”.

~Candace Mezetin

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What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger…Really?!

October 19, 2017

The old saying goes… “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

Hmmm does it really???

Let’s ask the millions of people stricken with debilitating illnesses each year.

Let’s ask the people who has had their hearts broken over and over again as they pour all of their emotions into relationships that seemed so promising.

Let’s ask the child whose father walked out on them, never to return for reasons far beyond their understanding.

Let’s ask that man or woman who was molested as a child.

I could go on and on and on, about all the examples of debilitating situations that allegedly doesn’t kill you, but at times does not necessarily make you stronger.

I can tell you from personal experience that what doesn’t kill you can make you calloused, and numb to the very people who you thought actually cared for you. Instead of loving you, they choose to live off of you for their survival— like a blood sucking leech or a gut-busting parasite.

What doesn’t kill you can leave your body aching with stress induced tension headaches so severe you wished someone would just knock you out cold.

What doesn’t kill you can make you sometimes wish that it actually did succeed on its intended mission.

What doesn’t kill you can leave mental, physical, and/or emotional scar tissue so horrendous, not even the best plastic surgeon in the world would take on the case.

The reality is…what doesn’t kill you could possibly make you stronger, but it can also leave you severely damaged, maimed, to live out the rest of your life on this earth just a fraction of the person that you use to be.

 

Let me tell you something!

In my opinion, “What doesn’t kill you…” makes you a SURVIVOR.

You live to see and fight another day.

You have another opportunity to overcome the very thing or person that seems to be oppressing you.

 

A survivor…yes…you heard me correctly.

I am a survivor— and I wear the badge of honor proudly.

I survived abuse…

I survived growing up seeing failed relationships…

I survived the hardships of motherhood…

I survived being a young black woman in a world where nothing was ever handed to me.

 

Again, I could go on forever with this list, but hey you get the point.

I am a survivor, what didn’t kill me made me a survivor.

Oh, the beauty of those words as I visually ingest them as my fingers type away.

Thank you God, I am a survivor!

I don’t have all the answers and I don’t ever expect that I will.

 

Nonetheless, I have to remain hopeful that things in this life won’t defeat me.

I will stand strong in the face of those tricky and/or surprising pit falls life at times bull dozes us over with.

Life, you are not easy…I see your true colors.

 

So, here I stand and will admit the not so obvious…

What did not kill me—really didn’t make me ‘Stronger’ in the direct meaning of the word.

It made me a survivor…

Yes, I will take that title…and with a sense of peace as I lay down my burdens.

For I live to fight another day…

 

~Contessa Thomas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Inspiration and Motivation

Just Fly

October 15, 2017

I am shy. 

Don’t argue with me…I really am.

I know I’m always doing things “in the spotlight ” and that’s because I do not let my shyness hold me back. Even when I’m nervous, and shaking in my boots…I would walk into the “fire ” and simply get the job done.

I never thought there could be that ONE thing that would stop me dead in my tracks….
Have me saying,  “I’m NEVER doing that”

Well first of all…NEVER say never.  

I also find it so funny that the one thing that I would “never” do, I make my kids do against their own will.

(Sometimes children…*my children… Don’t have a choice. Lol)

Swimming…

I cannot swim. For years I have wanted to master the art of gliding freely through the waters, feeling the water pass through my fingers as I am enjoying nature’s gift….

For years I wanted that freedom…..but since I can’t  swim, I make my kids take lessons.  

Let me just say, for years they complained against it, but now they know how to swim and are beautifully mastering their skill. 

They actually seem to enjoy it now. 

One day my son says to me, “Mom… you need to take swimming lessons….”
I laughed so hard… but I  knew he was right.

It was at that moment I had a flashback to when I was a little girl at Action Park. I remembered feeling free as I played in the water, having a grand time until someone pushed me and I fell into the water unexpectedly. I wasn’t ready, and I couldn’t swim.

I saw bubbles going up from my mouth and nose and I felt my arms flailing endlessly around trying to grab onto something that wasn’t there.  

I thought it was the end….

Until I felt someone grab me and pull me out of the water. 

For the rest of that day I stood clear of water and going forward I was fearful of swimming.  

Do you have that one experience that didn’t go so well…that scarred you tremendously…that has you “shaking” in your boots/hindering you from going forward?  

Do you have that amazing opportunity sitting in your lap,  doors are about to open,  success at your fingertips… but you’re…

SCARED?

I want to encourage you today to let go and just fly.

This is your time. 
Let that fear GO!

Let it go.  You must not be a prisoner of your past, a captain to your captivity, or bound by your bondage. 

In order for you to honestly move forward you have to:

1. Acknowledge that you’re afraid.  Admit it.  Honesty is truly the best policy, and if you accept that you are afraid you can plan on how to move forward. 

2. Plan to move forward.  You have to make a conscious decision that you no longer want to be afraid. You no longer want to allow fear to keep you back.  You have to plan on how you will overcome your fear. What will you do differently?  

3. Execute your plan.  Now that you’ve admitted your fear, plan on how to overcome that fear. It’s time to execute your plan. 

 

Do something different to achieve the goals you set out for yourself.  

Two weeks ago, I decided that I was going to step out on a limb, and do the very thing that I said I would never do.  

I signed up for swimming lessons. 

The thought of placing my life in the hands of an instructor made me sick.  Pangs of nervousness repeatedly charged at my stomach, but I kept reassuring myself it would be ok.  

The moment I got into the pool, I felt some of my long endured fears start to leave me. It was not easy at all, but I knew I was on my way to defeating the enemy…fear.  

My second swim lesson was even better than the first. I was breathing out under the water,  and my confidence level had  boosted.  I was kicking and breathing out and I felt so free!!!

But then it happened…

I came up to breathe in fresh air and not only did I take in air, I also breathed in a hefty amount of water. 

Instant panic set in and I began to gasp for air…

My friends…sometimes you will stumble on your quest to freedom. You may have an experience that could possibly cause you to run and  hide once again behind your fear.

Don’t quit!!

Cough, spit,  gasp for air, breathe, cry, yell ,scream, be mad…but DON’T QUIT. 

I could have easily given up on swimming. Breathing in water is a horrible experience.  Instead of climbing out of the pool, grabbing my towel and calling it quits, I coughed, and gagged, laughed, and kept on swimming. 

Don’t fall back behind your fear because of a setback moment.  Keep pushing,  keep believing in yourself,  and simply put…

Just Fly!!!!

I know that I won’t overcome my fear fully in one day, but for every moment I get into that pool,  I’m flapping my wings.  Each lesson my wings are flapping harder and before you know it… I’ll be flying. 

I would love if you joined me.

~ Candace Mezetin

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The Warm and Fuzzies Of Life

October 12, 2017

The warm and fuzzies of life…oh yes! Those things that we encounter in our daily paths that cause our hearts to flutter, and that help to untie our knotty stressed stomachs. Those things that can turn any dark day into one that is brighter— and change looming frowns into a bright and cheery smile.

What are those things in your life that you can assign the cute title of ‘warm and fuzzy’?

Well, for me it is the laughter of hearing my children’s voices, the warm sun beaming so brightly on my face, the smell of clean laundry, the feeling of a warm blanket on a cold day, and a warm, loving embrace when everything in my life seems to be turned upside down. These are just a few of the many warm and fuzzies that I can point out in my life.  

One recent warm and fuzzy moment that I can vividly remember was at the YMCA Children’s choir rehearsal. Candace (my sister and the other half of SisArias United), who is the choir director was teaching the children a song from the most recent version of the movie “Annie”. The song is entitled “I Don’t Need Anything But You”. As the children started to belt out the chorus of the song, I had to hold back my tears from flowing, for the words were really tugging at the imaginary strings of my heart. The words of the chorus go as follows:

But that was then

Cause I was looking for something

Looking for my loose end

No, I don’t need anything but you.”

Gosh!!! As I type the words I am just moved. Why are these words having such a profound effect on me? Hmmm…let me see. I know! This song is moving me because I can relate the words to where I am now in my life. I remember as a little girl, searching, looking for my happiness. Looking and looking to see where I truly fit in and belong—I have now come to accept that I don’t need anything but my faith in God and the love of my family and friends.   Hence, the words of the chorus “But that was then cause I was looking for something. Looking for my loose end…”. Yes, I was looking for someone or something to make me feel whole and completely fulfilled. Truth is that my job, my education, or material things such as my house, car, make-up, clothing, would not suffice.

What has finally quenched my thirst and has satisfied my longing is that my riches are not in the things I acquire here on this earth. The love that I receive from the people who care most about me is my fuel. Each day presents its own set of challenges, but I remain encouraged as I focus my attention on those “Warm and Fuzzies” of life.

It is “A Hard Knock Life” for real in the words of “Annie”, so why not make those unfortunate situations in our lives more palatable by dwelling on positive things.

Hey, think about a thunderstorm. It usually consists of a major down pouring of water, accompanied with big and booming thunder, and bright flashy lightening. Nonetheless, after that terrible and frightening experience comes to an end—it is marked with what? Yes, a big beautiful, colorful, make your stomach tickle with joy every time you gaze upon it—rainbow. That is nature’s ‘Warm and Fuzzy” for us after the terrible/dangerous experience it just subjected us to on the weather front.

Life is life, and situations will be thrown our way, that we may have no control over. All we can do is focus on the damage control of the situations. With that being said…don’t let the bad things of life consume you. In essence, use that time to focus on those things that make you feel ‘Warm and Fuzzy’ inside—letting it be a clear symbol of hope, that better days are soon to come.

~Contessa Thomas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Inspiration and Motivation

Magic Moment

October 8, 2017

At a very early age, writing was my wont; it was my opportunity to escape my reality and create a new one.  Writing gave me an outlet to escape the sadness and oppression that I faced as a child.  Writing in essence…set me free. 

The Candace back then is so different from the Candace today. The one thing that remained the same is my passion for writing and telling stories as you may have read in some of my previous posts. Today, I want to take a trip down memory lane….looking at one of my old pieces.

Have you ever had an experience that changed your life? 

An experience that altered your outlook on life? 

If so, you can relate to this piece. 

Sit back and enjoy this adventure…

It was just another day.
A normal regular day.
A day where I would do the same things I did yesterday. 

Another day….

Another day of feeling alone while I smiled at my neighbors who gave me their daily wave.

Another day of feeling incomplete as I gave hours upon hours to better the lives of others. 

Another day of coming home… winding down… wishing that something was different.  Wishing that something exciting happened… wishing for that moment where I would finally become ALIVE.

And then my magic moment happened…

” It took me by surprise…I knew that you felt it too, by the look in your eyes….”

I saw you,  and I couldn’t take my eyes off of you… 

What would I say?  Would I stutter if I tried to speak?  

I tried not to stare… tried to stay focused on the task I was presently doing.  

*drip…drip…drip…*

The sweat poured off my brow. 

My heart was racing as you came closer to me…

Then he spoke.

We exchanged few words… but he was busy… focused on the task he had come to do.  Serious… focused… not willing to be deterred from his goal. 

I like that. 

I would seek to align myself in his path… knowing that the opportunities were slim…I only had a small window. 

Every opportunity I got, there was a transfer of words… words that were ” sweeter than wine… softer than the summer light “…

Words that were clearly business related, but they came from him. 

I looked forward to seeing him… even when I didn’t have to be where I knew he would be…I had to be there, because he was there. 

But soon enough… things changed and I didn’t see him anymore.  I couldn’t see that smile… that face of determination… that tall, masculine build.

And what do you do?

You just keep on living. 

Back to my mundane ways of living.  Everything was so  predictable you see.  A routine permanently etched in my mind…

I knew there was something special about him…there was a purpose for our acquaintance, one that was not fully rationalized. 

In living my old life, I felt myself falling away… in somewhat of a despair…a pit of sadness.  Is this what life is supposed to be?  

I would find myself remembering those few moments where I felt alive…it was because of him… but now I’ve lost him. I remembered our brief, but meaningful correspondences, shared with brief exchanges of warm smiles. I remembered the advice we shared about being better individuals.  Our minds always seemed to be in sync… 

How did I let you slip away????

I wasn’t sure how, or when, but I knew
It would only be a matter of time when our lives would once again realign. 

It’s almost as if, that moment was meant to be, because that moment came.

This Magic Moment 

Reconnected…instant blaze…it was then I knew you had to be a part of my life permanently.  

——————————-
Words of Encouragement: 

Living in this world will present itself with a cup full of surprises. Some of them negative, and  some of them positive.  Try to make the most out of every moment.  Make every moment you can -your magic moment.  

See the light in your situation. Find the ways in which you can grow and become a better person from it.  

Keep a positive outlook while living in this negative world. Whether it be an individual, an experience, or a particular place, see the magic moment that lies within.  

~ Candace Mezetin 

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Inspiration and Motivation

Gone Too Soon… But Never Forgotten

October 5, 2017

Gone too soon…is the looming thought that tends to dominate my mind.

As I sit and ponder how and why this tragedy chose me out of everyone else.

 

Wishing this reality away, like flushing a bad dream out of my mind…

Yet the ever-present pain just won’t leave my broken heart as I realize that the one I love so

dearly is no longer here.

 

To smile, what is that?! Hmmm…will I ever be able to do that thing with my mouth again?

Where the sides turn up when I feel a great sense of delight?

Truth be told, the immensity of my loss has only given me tunnel vision, numb to anything but the grief that I feel.

 

Ahhh!!! Why me?!?! Life is so unfair. Why couldn’t my loved one be spared?

Why did it have to be their time? Why, why, why?

In fact, asking why seems completely pointless, as I know the question is beyond the realm of mere mortal minds.

So, I guess I have to make my peace with the very thing I am currently at war with.

 

God, please give me strength, because right now my emotional and physical tanks are out of gas.

Help me to love amidst the hate… yes, indeed that one thing that goes against

my very nature and that is extremely hard to do when not given much thought.

 

If only I could turn back the hands of time to say that final goodbye, or stop that tragic

incident from ever occurring.

Again, a nice thought to ponder…

How will I survive? What does tomorrow hold for me?

 

Yes, let me think about this one…ah…Hope!

Hope is the one thing that can turn my tragedy into something better.

Hope is the only remedy to help me regain feeling in my broken, numbed heart again.

Hope, I know that you will not let me down.

You are all that I have left.

 

To hope… I know is to eventually live again.

To actively live out that legacy that my loved one left behind.

To ensure that their lives were not in vain.

 

Gosh…the road to recovery is not an easy one, but encouraged is what I will try and remain.

As the pain stakes dig deep into my soul—I will choose to hope and look beyond the

devastating hand that I was unfairly dealt.

Choosing to live a life in remembrance of the one that was lost.

Hope, I thank you!

~Contessa Thomas

 

*This is a tribute to the families of those who lost their lives in Las Vegas earlier this week and Nancy P. who lost her dear father as well.

Let us live each day here on this earth with a purpose to love each other.

 

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Inspiration and Motivation

Plaintiff: Christian versus Defendant: Christian

October 1, 2017

“Order in the court room!” Exclaims the judge. (Hits gavel) “Order in the court room! “Please send the next plaintiff and defendant in.”



(In walks two Christian women. Each take their stand on the appropriate side) 



“Do you both swear to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?” asked the Judge. 



“Yes” both women said in all sincerity.

 “Ok, so I see here that the plaintiff has deemed the defendant to be a false Christian, and recommends that she be disfellowshipped from her current church positions.  Plaintiff, please take the stand and let us hear your story”. 



“About a month ago, we were both attending our church back to school expo event where we had all sorts of fun, games, and activities for the kids.” said the plaintiff. 



“Do you both attend the same church? ” asked the Judge. 



“Yes” said the plaintiff.

.

“Continue on” said the judge. 



“So at this back to school expo, we had a section for children’s entertainment. One of the activities was Zumba. The defendant was solely responsible for this. The music that was playing was loud, and filled with all sorts of beats and drums and it was disgusting!!! My ears and heart were bleeding, as the music was just too much.” complained the plaintiff to the Judge

.

 “So, tell me” … asked the Judge, “Why was the beats making your ears and heart ‘bleed’?



 “Well, you see your honor, it is common knowledge that music is a subtle weapon used by the enemy. Loud, repetitive beats have a way of entering the subconscious mind and leaves the listener vulnerable to the messages being conveyed through the songs.” said the plaintiff. 



“What was the message of the song being played?” asked the Judge

.

“Well, I’m not really sure,” said the plaintiff. 


”Ok, so, it is common belief amongst all the members of your church that music with beats is ‘ungodly’?” asked the judge. 



“Well, there is a group of us who study together and we believe this to be true according to the spirit of prophecy” said the plaintiff.

“Please answer the question. Is it the common belief of ALL the members of your church that music with beats, drums, bass…etc. is ungodly?” asked the Judge.

“No your honor” said the plaintiff.

“So, you feel that this member should be disfellowshipped because of the music she chose to play during Zumba?” said the Judge.

“Well, your honor, this is only one of the many occasions where music has been an issue. Whenever she participates in the worship at church there is always an issue with beats, drums, and bass. We can’t take it any longer.  God is not pleased with the drumming, and upbeat tempo music that causes members to start shaking all over/dancing, and grooving right there in the church.  If they want to dance and groove, they need to go to the club! Take that music back to where it belongs!  It has no place in the house of God!” exclaimed the plaintiff.  



“Order in the court!!! You may take a seat,” stated the judge to the plaintiff.

 “Defendant, please take the stand”



(Defendant goes up). 



“Please tell us what happened that day” asked the judge

.

“Well, as it was stated, we were having a back to school expo and I was in charge of the kids activities. I know that Zumba is a fun and exciting activity where children have fun, so I invited my good friend who is a Zumba instructor to come and help me by running that activity.  My friend was so excited to come and help. While the song was going on the Plaintiff called me out to the side.  She didn’t even have the decency to wait until the event was over…better yet until the song was over. My friend kept the kids going while I answered to her beckoning.  She began to scold me for playing that type of music in the church parking lot, and that it was ungodly. She told me to turn it off and that I was wrong. She insisted that I needed to study and listen for God to reveal to me that drums, beats, and bass were ungodly. I explained to her that I didn’t believe that anything was wrong with the music. What made matters even worse was that the message being portrayed in the song was a clean one. I even asked if there would have been a difference if it were a Christian Zumba song.  I was immediately met with a strong oppositional response, as she let me know that dancing belonged in the club not at the church or any event it sponsored”, the defendant stated.

“All of this transpired during the back to school expo?” asked the Judge.

“Yes, your honor.” said the defendant.

“This court session will take a 30 minute break.  We will reconvene afterwards,” said the Judge.

Within our churches members are battling members.  This is just one of the many issues that Christians face in the Christian community. So many personal beliefs and opinions that many self-label “thus saith the Lord” are tearing our church communities apart.

Underneath the umbrella title of “CHRISTIAN”, there are so many different levels of understanding and revelation on different topics and beliefs. How do we know who is right?

Well, there are some matters that are clearly black and white/right or wrong. There is no question about that. The bible says that we shouldn’t steal…so we should not. Point blank.  However, there are some matters that are not so clear, and the understanding on that matter differs from person to person. One of the most popular sections of discourse is music. Knowing whether your right or wrong will be revealed as you seek God with your whole heart.  Sometimes, the answer may not be what we want to hear, but the truth will come.

Music within the Christian sect varies from denomination to denomination, as well as from people to people within the same denomination.

Some people prefer quiet, classical/orchestral music with stringed instruments, while others prefer organ, bass guitar, and drums. Some love and appreciate both and others could care less about music period.

While there are clear truths about the impact music has on the brain, we must be very careful not to impose our personal beliefs on others, claiming what we say as “thus saith the Lord”.

Instead of us being judgmental, accusative, and self-righteous, we must learn to be compassionate and understanding. We must not impose our personal beliefs on others and sentence them to condemnation if they don’t agree with us. 

We must learn to love and when we love, it produces patience, kindness, long suffering and an immense ability to love people regardless of the differences that exist between us. 

It is important to remember that God has endowed His people with an array of many gifts. One person’s gift may not be to your liking, and that’s okay.  Nonetheless, we still need to love, RESPECT, embrace and learn from each other. 

 

~Candace Mezetin 

 

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