As I stood in the laundry room folding freshly washed clothing this past Sunday night, my mind began to drift as I reflected on the last couple of days. As I became deeply carried away into my wonderland of thoughts a sudden chuckle escaped my lips—as my mind stopped on the following idea: Why do a lot of men see women as nags? It truly bothered me, as I know that we as women mean well for the most part. That label is flung so loosely around—and in my opinion most of the time in an undeserving way.
While in my thoughts, my mind reverted to a movie on Netflix that I was watching the day before entitled “Born to Win”, and though funny at the time, the best friend of the main actor referred to his wife as ‘The Government’. I laughed so hard that I nearly fell off my bed. Here these two men are drinking their sorrows away at a town bar as they both have this drunken pow-wow, ranting and raving about their annoying, ungrateful, and yes…’NAGGING’ wives. The nerve of these men!
So…what is the true definition of Nagging or being a Nag? My good friend Merriam-Webster defines the word as “to find fault incessantly; a.k.a – COMPLAIN; to be a persistent source of annoyance or distraction”. Yikes!!! Is this what runs through my husband’s mind, when I try in my kindest and sweetest voice to remind him to please wash the dishes, or put air in my van tires, and etc. To make matters worse, a quick Google search of the phrase “Nagging Hag”, revealed a list of articles written by men to help other men remedy their nagging women. This induced a moment of good laughter for me.
Putting all jokes aside, in my personal experience no woman wants to be referred to as a ‘nag’—and in fact, the mere thought of being labeled as one out loud or silently can be truly hurtful. We as women give our all to make sure that our families are well taken care of—and at times at the expense of our own well-being (I speak directly from the heart as I disclose this truth).
Where does the disconnection between the two parties (men and women) lie, as it pertains to the way we communicate with each other? Where does the love go wrong (said in a soulful voice)? At what point do our beautiful men feel like we are trying to change them constantly—while all they want is for us to remain the same sweet, carefree, ‘non-nagging’ woman they fell in love with? When do they begin to say “Yes, Mom” in their heads while they answer us “Yes Dear” out loud? Deep sigh…how can we all just see eye to eye, which constitutes each party doing what it takes to make each other happy and less stressed. After all, we are supposed to be each other’s biggest supporters (The Batman and Robin duo), right?
After numerous discussions with my brothers and very close male friends, I came to conclude the following points:
- Women, clearly communicate your wishes to your significant other. DO NOT leave anything to the imagination to be interpreted, or else more than likely the end result will only turn you into the Incredible ‘NAG’.
- Women, if you are very particular about how you would like your significant other to carry out a certain task, or if it is truly time sensitive in your book— I advise you to…JUST DO IT YOURSELF. If not, take a deep breath and believe in good faith, that the task will get completed eventually.
- Women, men need time to unwind after a long day or stressful event. Yes, we can jump right in and save the day like Superwoman (this one took me a very long time to digest), but our awesome guys are not wired that way usually. Let them take a moment to catch their breath before the task list comes out.
- Lastly, women, our lovely men do not want to feel like they are our children, but instead our equal partners whom we have vowed to love and cherish.
Again, the above points were derived from the inside scoop, and therefore I deem it highly valuable. I was afforded the great opportunity to hear it directly from the source’s mouth—instead of formulating my own ‘womanly’ opinions, which may be subjected to ‘false accusations and assumptions’. I myself have continually tried to implement those points listed above, and when executed successfully, communication with my husband is indeed a lot smoother. As the old saying goes “Practice makes perfect”— that is definitely a truism when it comes to formulating new habits for any individual.
From a personal vantage point, I definitely do not want to go down in the history of my husband’s memory bank as the ‘Nagging Hag’ (I cannot get over how awful those words are!), but rather as his Eve, or his Lois Lane, or simply and preferably the one and only true love of his life.